how to stay married for 44 years

Yesterday at school I had the opportunity to cut the hair of an elderly man. After some brief small talk, he asked if I was married. I told him we had just recently hit our 5 month anniversary. He got the hugest smile on his face and said to me, "Ain't marriage wonderful?"

He proceeded to talk about his wife who had Alzheimer's. She passed away last year. This May would have been their 44th wedding anniversary. 

They got engaged just a few months after knowing each other. And married just as quickly. As an 18 year old married couple, all the odds and statistics in the world were against them. 

I asked him what his advice would be, for a newlywed like myself. What's the secret to a long-lasting and joyous marriage?

He said, to look back at wedding photos, and think of the love you felt for your husband on that day. Never let a problem go unsolved, talk things out and NEVER yell at one another. Compromise about activities you do together, you don't have to love the same things, you just have to learn to take turns doing the things you love as individuals as a couple. And to put God first. 

One of the most significant things that has been running through my mind since, is that he said once you are married, it's not husband and wife, it's a couple. You do things together, you make decisions together, and you grow together. Your marriage relationship creates oneness, and it's our responsibility to keep that oneness as close as possible. 

The old man left me one of the biggest tips I've received so far and left me eternally grateful for the priceless lessons he taught me in a 30 minute haircut.