Any of you who are married know that as soon as you get engaged, the marriage advice starts a'flying. People can't contain themselves, they want to share the things they have learned! And while I was grateful for some of it, some of it I didn't agree with. At one of my bridal showers they had everyone write down some marriage advice and put it in a cute photo album for me, so I'm gonna share some of my thoughts on the marriage advice I was given before my wedding!
Hold hands whenever you can.
This is something I've tried to really incorporate into our marriage. I even wrote a post about it here! But holding hands with Mr. Jolley is something that can instantly strengthen our bond and remind us that we are in this life together.
Never compare your relationship to other couples. Enjoy your decisions & what you like to do together.
I LOVE this piece of advice. Especially because of social media these days, it's easy to get caught up in the comparison game. Well her husband always makes her dinner, and watches Disney movies with her and buys her lots of presents... etc. etc. etc. Focusing on the good in MY marriage and not worrying about everyone else's has really helped me begin to adjust to married life.
On another note, what works for one couple doesn't necessarily work for another couple. Don't think you have to be like everyone else! We do some things differently in our marriage than what I had pictured marriage to be like, but it works for us, and that's what matters.
Don't go to bed angry.
This isn't one that I really believe in. Mostly because I get the most irrational when I'm exhausted. If an issue isn't resolved at 1 AM, it probably won't be resolved at 3 AM. I think some couples need that closure before they can sleep, but lots of times I need that sleep to come to my senses about a situation.
Marriage isn't 50/50. Sometimes you give 80 and he 20, other times he'll give 80 and you 20.
Some days Mr. Jolley does all the cleaning because I can't handle one more thing, and sometimes its just the opposite. There are days where one of us is in a good mood and the other isn't. We take turns and take care of each other. In my marriage I really try hard to not keep score. It doesn't really matter who cleaned out the litter box last, because it needs to be done.
Keep your friends and family close- it will only make your marriage stronger!
I agree with this. Because I moved away from all my friends to marry Mr. Jolley, I don't have that many friends in SLC. But my family is close, and some of his family and friends live close. I will admit we aren't the best at this. Sometimes its just easier to watch a movie by ourselves at our apartment than it is to make that effort to go out, but I always am happier in my marriage when I spend time with my family and friends.
Don't let small things bother you. If you are upset about something, tell him! Don't hold it inside.
This piece of advice is something I have been going back and forth on and am trying to find a good balance. I heard once that in a good marriage, 5 things should be left unsaid every day. I think there are a lot of little things in marriage that simply don't need to be said, but on the other hand, I'm also infamous for holding things in until I explode in a raging ball of emotion. So there's a middle ground of holding things in, and telling your spouse every little thing about them that bothers you, and I'm still working on finding it.
What's the best marriage advice you've received? I'd love to hear it!
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